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Mike Reyes, aka Mr. Controversy, has considered himself a writer ever since he was a child. He wrote for various school publications from about 1995 until 2006, and currently runs both The Bookish Kind and Mr. Controversy, which is an offshoot of the regular column he wrote in High School. He's also authored several short stories such as "The Devil's Comedian", "The Devil v. George W. Bush", and most recently "Wait Until Tomorrow". He resides in New Jersey. Any inquiries for reprinting, writing services, or general contact, should be forwarded to: michaelreyes72@hotmail.com

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Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Convention-al Thinking: Day 2 - The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pantsuit

Note: My coverage of the Convention is limited to whatever text the Internet gives me, and morning news shows like Good Morning America. I apologize if my coverage isn't all encompassing or anything like CNN or Fox News. I'm here to offer analysis and punditry, not the value of Joe Biden's house.

Round 2, folks! As the second night of the convention in Denver progressed, we saw some familiar faces. Senator Patrick Leahy spoke, who's claim to fame is being such a Batman fan that he got to be manhandled by the Joker as Harvey Dent's father in the summer box office smash The Dark Knight. Representative Dennis Kucinich was on hand as well, obviously being allowed to attend the convention in between his routine monthly abductions. The big speaker of the evening last night was, undoubtedly, the Great Pumpkin.

Time for to make Carville proud, because that goodwill I bestowed upon Hillary yesterday (if I did indeed do so, I cannot remember) is slightly diminished. Still, there was some good to her speech. She did address her loyal fanbase, and "release" them to vote for Obama as planned. Plus, as expected, she had a couple pull quotes, that summed up her speech:

"Barack Obama is my candidate."
"No way, no how, no McCain' "

Simple enough. Mix that in with a response to Michelle Obama's speech from the night before, a couple "I love you's" from Bill, and...wait, did she really say THAT?

“To my supporters, my champions — my sisterhood of the traveling pantsuits — from the bottom of my heart: Thank you. Thank you...you never gave in. You never gave up. And together we made history.”

"Sisterhood of the traveling pantsuits"?! Really? I mean, way to isolate your male fanbase, no matter how limited they may be. You know, 18 million votes is nothing to sneeze at, and do you really think that all 18 million voters that picked your ass were female? Maybe an overwhelming majority of them, but it would have done you well to Her big assumption is that you had to have a vagina in order to be compelled to vote for her, which equates to reverse sexism. Reverse sexism is still sexism, and frankly I'm surprised no one pointed this out. Maybe I'm just too picky, but I think it was a failed attempt at some campaign humor, and I think it was a stupid thing to say. One that if she were the party's nominee, would have cost her votes she would have needed against McCain.


See, even Senator Obama's laughing. Maybe he's laughing because this "500 foot home run" that Ms. Clinton hit out of the park, was really more of a bunt. And who do we have to thank for pointing that out? The same happy chappy who's quick on the attack ad trigger finger, Senator McCain. You have to admit, even if the man's an old bastard, who may or may not have broken his wife's wrist, he's sure got a cracker jack team of media hawks. Their biggest talking point of the evening:

“...nowhere tonight did [Clinton] say that Barack Obama is ready to lead. Millions of Hillary Clinton supporters and millions of Americans remain concerned about whether Barack Obama is ready to be president.”

The crafty son of a bitch...he's absolutely...right. I hate to say it, but he was right. If you go back and look at Hillary's speech, there's nothing that describes her feelings about his character, his leadership, or anything personal about him. She merely said he was her candidate and that her supporters should unify and vote for him. But she didn't give a compelling enough reason why, in fact she gave no reason as to why.

Nothing. Not even something as flimsy as, "I think you should vote for Obama because he has really nice ties and he's a family man." Nope. I would even go as far as to say that this speech sounded more like a victory speech...one she undoubtedly would have had written far in advance, assuming her "impending" victory after super Tuesday. It really didn't need a terrible amount of change, and the way she addressed the crowd even seemed like she was pretending to be the nominee.

Maybe the evening was just one big joke to Hillary Clinton. Maybe she expected someone to pop out and say she was on Candid Camera, and she was really the nominee. Or maybe, it was all running in slow motion like at the end of Requiem For A Dream. The applause, her name being shouted, the bright lights...all of it just soaking into her being and the spotlight making her forget for one shining moment that she epically failed to secure the nomination for the office she so desperately wanted.

Ms. Clinton, I will say this for the last time, so listen up...

IT'S OVER! YOU GET NOTHING! YOU LOSE! GOOD DAY, SIR!

I guess this proves one thing: Hillary Clinton is indeed the Joker, and she might as well said, "Hey, DNC...why so serious?" Dear god, please let Bill redeem himself, and maybe even his wife, tonight at the convention.

Further reading for the day from The Daily News, Body language experts debate Hil speech, which basically backs up some of the points I made here and Warner exudes a quiet confidence. Everyone got so caught up with Hillary, that this gentleman became overlooked with everyone else. But if anyone stole the show besides Gov. Warner, it'd have to be Sen. Bob Casey Jr. from Pennsylvania. If his speech was any indication, the Democrats have only begun to fight.

"Casey gave the convention its first couple of great one-liners, comparing John McCain to George W. Bush and quipping, "That isn't a maverick, that's a sidekick."
Casey then added that we don't need four more years of Bush, but more like "four more months" - a phrase delegates immediately began chanting, in a welcome sign that they were finally having some fun."

It just goes to show that in order to get some attention the same night Hillary Clinton speaks at your covention, you have to not only know what you're doing, but you've also got to have a hook.

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