Let that absurdity settle into your head. Blogger Kevin Cogill leaked songs from Guns N' Roses "It'll be released when it's released" album, "Chinese Democracy", and was arrested and is now being prosecuted by the FBI. The biggest line of bullshit in this whole story?
"According to an arrest affidavit, Cogill admitted to agents that he posted the songs on his Web site. Prosecutors said Wednesday the leak could result in a "significant" financial loss for the band."
Does it help his case if it was reported that he removed the songs, and that this whole mess started back in June? Apparently not, because his bail has been set at $10,000 and he will be facing a preliminary hearing on Sept. 17th. So what does Axl Rose have to say about this?
"Guns N' Roses representatives have been made aware of the arrest and are leaving the matter to the authorities," said Larry Solters, the band's spokesman.
In other words, the party that may face "significant financial losses" is going to remain quiet about the losses that were almost incurred upon them by that filthy blogger scum. Shame and damnation befall him, because Guns 'N Roses believes he deserves it. Actually, who knows what they believe at this point, because they're saying nothing! It's like if I were to prosecute someone for stealing Government technology, and the Government just brushes off the case in court. Wouldn't someone reasonably intelligent think that maybe GNR would want to at least issue a statement about their songs being leaked or when Chinese Democracy might be coming out?
Nope. Not Axl Rose and the gang. (Except for Slash, he rocks.) GNR would rather just the whole thing be settled so they can go back to delaying Chinese Democracy and robbing America of a free Dr. Pepper. (Hey kids, don't forget to play Rock Band 2, because it'll have a track off of the most famous album to never be released!) I guess that's a good thing, since the cultural relevance of Guns 'N Roses ended about the same time Kriss Kross stopped making music, Milli Vannili were found to be frauds, and Kurt Cobain and his buddies musically kicked Axl Rose's ass like the little schoolgirl he is.
Couldn't an arguement be made that Guns 'N Roses has not only diminished in its popularity, but is also not losing money in this matter? It's a safe bet that the leaked songs could lead to better album sales if the public likes them enough. This is all dependent on the assumption that this album is going to be released in the near future, much less the assumption that it's going to be a chart topping success.
Here's how it would have panned out in the real world: Guns 'N Roses finishes their album, announces a release date. The world is waiting with somewhat baited breath, they get thrust into the limelight. Axl Rose gets some ink in Rolling Stone because they sold out about the same time Axl Rose did, so that makes them bros. After the cover story, public interest is somewhat stoked, and that's around the same time the critics get their hands on a copy of the album. EW publishes an article labeling the album as, "A horrorshow of wasted promise and nightmarish delays...Chinese Democracy is about as fresh as the air in Beijing." The public will get wind of this, Axl Rose will become a raging doucheknuckle in the public eye again, the album will either debut with a tepid fourth or fifth place finish and gradually slip, or start at a Number 1 spot because of all the die hards, but will sink like a stone in a pond.
As for the FBI, isn't it kinda fucked up that they're prosecuting someone for stealing music. I mean it worked so well when they were first doing it years ago, that really stopped people from downloading music. I know I went right home and deleted Ares and Soul Seek after hearing that. It's not ridiculous that the FBI is the driving force for the prosecution, and not the band that's actually making the material that's disputed. It's not like there's more important things to be foiled. No terror plots being designed against us. There aren't even dumbass amateur assassins out there trying to kill Barack Obama that they could keep busy chasing. Nope, not here in Whitebread, USA! We just like to mind our picket fences, smile at our enemies, and waste time and money punishing our own citizens for music theft.
This is just one more reason why I think Trent Reznor is a genius. At least he understand the digital revolution in music. (Don't forget to download The Slip, kids! It's fucking worth it.) Well, until next time, I'll just sit in my office and pray the FBI doesn't have me on the list to be black bagged after my current post.