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Mike Reyes, aka Mr. Controversy, has considered himself a writer ever since he was a child. He wrote for various school publications from about 1995 until 2006, and currently runs both The Bookish Kind and Mr. Controversy, which is an offshoot of the regular column he wrote in High School. He's also authored several short stories such as "The Devil's Comedian", "The Devil v. George W. Bush", and most recently "Wait Until Tomorrow". He resides in New Jersey. Any inquiries for reprinting, writing services, or general contact, should be forwarded to: michaelreyes72@hotmail.com

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Wednesday, September 24, 2008

The Da Vinci Schmuck

I had a bigger piece for today, but it's been pushed back to tomorrow due to...well, work. However I wanted to quickly step in here and post this story from MSNBC (Italian police: 'Da Vinci Code' inspired stabbing). Now this guy thinks he's the Anti Christ, but actually Satan is pretty insulted. I should know, I'm his Press Agent. In fact, he had this to say:

"I'm actually insulted this generic idiot who'd stab a priest in broad daylight would try to pass himself off as me. I mean, I'm the Devil for godsake...I tend to go for a more theatrical, more ominous, or at the very least more blackly comic retribution against my enemies. I don't actually want to kill anyone...just make their lives a living Hell. Half of the victims to my pranks are going to wind up down here to begin with, so if you think about it I'm merely acclimating them to the living arrangement. The only time I'd kill someone is if they really deserved it. Me killing someone for the thrill of it is like an Obama supporter whacking a McCain booster."

Satan then went on to talk about how Sarah Palin knew, "less about God's will than [he] did, and I'm the Devil", and how, "she might replace me as the most popular Halloween costume...or at the very least provide a boost in female Devil costumes and Tina Fey eyeglasses."

That's all for now, but an Interview with "Old Scratch" himself may not be too far off. Until tomorrow, I'm Mr. Controversy: The Devil's Press Agent.


Anonymous said...

Does working for Satan come with a good dental plan?

Mr. Controversy said...

Actually, it does. I also get up to three weeks off, and a 401k invested in company stock. (Big piece of advice: buy stock in Disney, it's gonna go through the roof.)

Anonymous said...

Is that a 401k of American money, or real money that matters?

Mr. Controversy said...

Ouch, low blow there. But your 401k can be converted into your home currency if you like.

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