"I'm actually insulted this generic idiot who'd stab a priest in broad daylight would try to pass himself off as me. I mean, I'm the Devil for godsake...I tend to go for a more theatrical, more ominous, or at the very least more blackly comic retribution against my enemies. I don't actually want to kill anyone...just make their lives a living Hell. Half of the victims to my pranks are going to wind up down here to begin with, so if you think about it I'm merely acclimating them to the living arrangement. The only time I'd kill someone is if they really deserved it. Me killing someone for the thrill of it is like an Obama supporter whacking a McCain booster."
Satan then went on to talk about how Sarah Palin knew, "less about God's will than [he] did, and I'm the Devil", and how, "she might replace me as the most popular Halloween costume...or at the very least provide a boost in female Devil costumes and Tina Fey eyeglasses."
That's all for now, but an Interview with "Old Scratch" himself may not be too far off. Until tomorrow, I'm Mr. Controversy: The Devil's Press Agent.