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Mike Reyes, aka Mr. Controversy, has considered himself a writer ever since he was a child. He wrote for various school publications from about 1995 until 2006, and currently runs both The Bookish Kind and Mr. Controversy, which is an offshoot of the regular column he wrote in High School. He's also authored several short stories such as "The Devil's Comedian", "The Devil v. George W. Bush", and most recently "Wait Until Tomorrow". He resides in New Jersey. Any inquiries for reprinting, writing services, or general contact, should be forwarded to: michaelreyes72@hotmail.com

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Friday, September 5, 2008

Mike R. for Pajiba's E.E. Guest Overlord - "Change, Hope, and UltraViolence"

This is the owl of distain. He is a wise and just creature, who knows what's cool and shit. He is well read, well thought, and well spoken. He is a majestic creature who is as discerning as the fine folks who read Pajiba.com . Which is why his opinion must be heeded, and which is why the Owl of Distain has handed down is endorsement for me, Mr. Controversy. (AKA Mike R. to you fine Pajibans out there.)

When we were asked to declare why we'd be best to run the Eloquent Eloquence (or EE) board to select the top 10 comments of the week, I laid down these qualities:

- I'm not a soccer mom.

- I'm considered "Ivy League".

- I won a class election, and served as president.

- Long time reader of Pajiba in good standing, and kinda liked by all, if not at least by the people who count.

- Neverending source of trivial information.

- Quick with a jib, but fair and hard working.

- I like lists.

- Previous top ten EE winner.

- I have nothing better to do at work, so perusing the comments eases the numbingly long work day.

- I have candy.

- I will declare Lindsay Lohan a WMD under my administration, and will have her locked up on an Army base where top men will be working on her.

- Your grandmother agreed with me over some tea that I should take over for a week. She says hi by the way, and that you haven't seen her in god knows how long, and what the f-ing hold up is?

- ...TOP MEN.

- I have a TARDIS

- and of course, "THE FIST OF BAUER, A MURDERTANK, AND A FLEET OF CYLONS!"

Now some others might tell you that this isn't enough. Others like DammitJanet, who are against "douchebags, hack directors, et al." and are for "godtopus" and "our nation". I wouldn't disagree with these notions, however I would like to set forth my own beliefs, to show how I am the better candidate:
For: The greatness of the First Pajiban Empire, puppies, Time Lords' rights, Barack Obama, and Jack Donaghy for my VP candidate.
Against: Enemies of the Patron Saint Jack Bauer, and John McCain's zombie horde.
So, come forth my friends! Follow the Great Owl of Distain to freedom, and vote Mike R. for Guest Overlord of the E.E.
(This is Mr. Controversy, and not only do I approve of this message, I also wish dammitjanet the best in her quest for her E.E. chooserator campaign. You know, she is pretty cool.)

3 comments:

dammitjanet said...

I...I am honored, sir, by your blatant thievery....anyone who reveres Saint Bauer, as do I, as well as Time Lord Rights (my children are somewhat upset by my new profile photo and sound, for obvious reasons) is a man to be reckoned with. Let the campaign be joined!!!

This is a frackin' blast. I wouldn't want to actually WORK at work, ya know?

Mr. Controversy said...

Work? Ha, I scoff at the notion. It's Friday! No such thing exists.

Kurgan said...

-Hey, one of my prerequisite, litmus tests for any Presidential candidate is the willingness to kill people on this planet that need to die. At least Biden will, won’t he?

That said, I checked Imdb. It says that “Bernie” was played by some Terry Kiser dude.

I totally would have lost the $20 I was going to bet it was McCain.

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