This is the owl of distain. He is a wise and just creature, who knows what's cool and shit. He is well read, well thought, and well spoken. He is a majestic creature who is as discerning as the fine folks who read Pajiba.com . Which is why his opinion must be heeded, and which is why the Owl of Distain has handed down is endorsement for me, Mr. Controversy. (AKA Mike R. to you fine Pajibans out there.)
When we were asked to declare why we'd be best to run the Eloquent Eloquence (or EE) board to select the top 10 comments of the week, I laid down these qualities:
- I'm not a soccer mom.
- I'm considered "Ivy League".
- I won a class election, and served as president.
- Long time reader of Pajiba in good standing, and kinda liked by all, if not at least by the people who count.
- Neverending source of trivial information.
- Quick with a jib, but fair and hard working.
- I like lists.
- Previous top ten EE winner.
- I have nothing better to do at work, so perusing the comments eases the numbingly long work day.
- I have candy.
- I will declare Lindsay Lohan a WMD under my administration, and will have her locked up on an Army base where top men will be working on her.
- Your grandmother agreed with me over some tea that I should take over for a week. She says hi by the way, and that you haven't seen her in god knows how long, and what the f-ing hold up is?
- ...TOP MEN.
- I have a TARDIS
- and of course, "THE FIST OF BAUER, A MURDERTANK, AND A FLEET OF CYLONS!"
Now some others might tell you that this isn't enough. Others like DammitJanet, who are against "douchebags, hack directors, et al." and are for "godtopus" and "our nation". I wouldn't disagree with these notions, however I would like to set forth my own beliefs, to show how I am the better candidate:
For: The greatness of the First Pajiban Empire, puppies, Time Lords' rights, Barack Obama, and Jack Donaghy for my VP candidate.
Against: Enemies of the Patron Saint Jack Bauer, and John McCain's zombie horde.
So, come forth my friends! Follow the Great Owl of Distain to freedom, and vote Mike R. for Guest Overlord of the E.E.
(This is Mr. Controversy, and not only do I approve of this message, I also wish dammitjanet the best in her quest for her E.E. chooserator campaign. You know, she is pretty cool.)