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Mike Reyes, aka Mr. Controversy, has considered himself a writer ever since he was a child. He wrote for various school publications from about 1995 until 2006, and currently runs both The Bookish Kind and Mr. Controversy, which is an offshoot of the regular column he wrote in High School. He's also authored several short stories such as "The Devil's Comedian", "The Devil v. George W. Bush", and most recently "Wait Until Tomorrow". He resides in New Jersey. Any inquiries for reprinting, writing services, or general contact, should be forwarded to: michaelreyes72@hotmail.com

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Wednesday, October 1, 2008

A Recovering Republican Sobers Up With Sarah

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As you all know, I used to consider myself a Republican. Well, that time has come to an end, and who drove the last nail in the coffin of my conservatism? Rah Rah Sarah Palin! I have officially sobered up and out of the Republican school of thought, and I have Governor Palin to thank for it.

"I’ve been hearing about his speeches since I was in, like, second grade...I'm the new energy, the new face, the new ideas, and he's got experience." This is what Sarah Palin said in an interview with Katie Couric the other night on the CBS Evening News. Watching the follow up interview with Palin and McCain being grilled by Katie Couric was painful. At different moments in this interview, Sarah Palin went from being John McCain's Parrot, to being his ventriloquist dummy, and finally to John McCain with a vagina. KATIE COURIC…the former host of the Today Show…the woman who probably interviewed ELMO on several occasions, tore a hole in the McCain campaign so big, John might have mistaken it for Cindy bending over. (See John, jokes are meant to be funny. "Gotcha journalism...isn't that a pizza place?" isn't funny.)

I love when Katie Couric says people think Sarah Palin is "not ready for Prime Time". Who says SNL has no clout? I think that Katie Couric is another reporter that has stepped up their game for Governor Palin's "trial by fire" in the media. It's not "gotcha journalism", it's "hard hitting journalism". You know, the type of stuff your stooges at Fox News try to come up with when they interview anyone who's different from them. The media hasn't been particularly friendly to the McCain/Palin campaign, and that's partially because they haven't given them much to work with. Any new ideas they have, they steal from the Democrats, or at least their preconceived notions of them.

Many Obama supporters, myself included, believe that John McCain would be a problem President due to his health condition and his age, since he would be the oldest President in the history of the United States, and most likely would die in a second term. This has been looked upon as ageism, and now Ms. Palin is backhandedly making her own play of the ageism card. Though she may deny it, she did so with her remarks, right before she underrated “experience” in politics. New energy and new ideas are apparently a substitution for experience now. This is perfect…we can all vote for Obama now with clear consciences, because he seems to have had quite a lot of energy in his campaign, and a lot of new ideas floating about out there too.

Now, more than ever, the Republican Party is looking desperate. They are so desperate, in fact, that some are calling for Sarah Palin’s resignation from the ticket. Apparently some Conservatives don’t think she’s got what it takes to be a lack of a heartbeat away from being the big cheese in DC. Why ever would they think that? It can’t be her lack of “experience”, that issue is so outdated McCain is still talking about it at his “town hall meetings” (read: talking to himself in the mirror, while he shaves). It most certainly can’t be the way the media has savaged her positions, her personal life, even her kids’ decisions, the way they have and continue to do with the Clinton family. I’m not lending sympathy to the Clintons here, I’m just saying equal treatment is being had in the media, and they’re still being seen as biased.

They need a win really badly, because Bill Clinton is in office right now and he’s really gummed up the works. Wait? George W. Bush was in the White House? For eight years? Someone better tell the Republicans that, because as I’ve stated before, they seem to be running a Post Bill Clinton campaign as opposed to a Post W campaign. They’ve all but abandoned the Commander In Chief and pay him as little mind as possible when it comes to campaigning, but I guess it’s for the best.

Final note, Ms. Palin, you are not a feminist. You are merely a tomboy, a female jaguar who’s strutting about with her package hanging out looking for an opening, a woman who claims to be a feminist but really is talking out of her ass. Feminists don’t want to overturn Roe v. Wade. Feminists don’t think that just because a candidate has a vagina, she’s qualified for the Vice Presidency. Feminists would slap John McCain right in the face if they were sitting next to him, not try to cut out the bottom of his chair to accommodate their head.

You’re against abortions, even if a 15 year old is raped by her father. You want them to “choose life”, and keep the child that’s spawned from a traumatic event. You, ma’am can’t even answer a question with a straight response. You ma’am are unfit to lead, or even be in succession to lead. You’re unfit to even be allowed near the White House, even if it’s in a tour group!

For all of the Republicans out there, I’m going to break this down into “sound bites”:

- George W. Bush is in the White House. Stop running your campaign with the same old tricks you developed in 2000. It worked in 2004, but just barely.
- Sarah Palin isn’t a feminist, she’s a hypocrite. Any woman who doesn’t believe in her right to choose what happens to her body obviously doesn’t care about feminism.
- New energy, new ideas, “no experience” = Obama.
- No experience, conflicting ideals, inane beliefs = Palin.
- When Katie Couric kicks your ass in an interview, you definitely shouldn't be running for office.

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Election Day is November 4th. Arm yourself with the truth, America.


Dave B. said...

You forgot this one thing about Sarah Palin:

She is unfit to consume oxygen.

Yeah, I said it.

Fuck that moron.

Mr. Controversy said...

I agree. The woman clearly says "thanks, but no thanks" to rational thought.

Chris L. said...

John McCain coming in to hold her hand reminds me of how Dick Cheney wouldn't let Bush testify alone before the 9/11 Commission. Remember that? Sarah and George are so much alike it's scary.

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