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Mike Reyes, aka Mr. Controversy, has considered himself a writer ever since he was a child. He wrote for various school publications from about 1995 until 2006, and currently runs both The Bookish Kind and Mr. Controversy, which is an offshoot of the regular column he wrote in High School. He's also a film journalist/critic for Cocktails & Movies and CinemaBlend, as well as the author of several short stories such as "The Devil v. George W. Bush". Any inquiries for reprinting, writing services, or general contact, should be forwarded to: mikereyeswrites@gmail.com

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Wednesday, November 12, 2008

A Letter to President Elect Obama, Or "Thank Adam Brickley"

Before we get started today, I'd like to take some time out for the little guy. Remember this guy? That's Adam Brickley, the man who "drafted" Sarah Palin to the VP slot in the Republican Party. This is the man who single handedly, and inadvertently, caused the downward spiral of the Republican ticket for 2008. If I were a Republican, I'd want this guy's head right next to Randy Scheunemann's on my mantle. However, everyone else has him to thank for helping the Obama camp's glorious victory. He was not the deciding factor, in fact his choice of Caribou Barbie was only an icing on the cake of the Obama Campaign's 21st Century campaign. Mr. Brickley, on behave of the Obama camp, I'd like to say "Thank you"...thank you for drafting such an ineffective, inexperienced, and media unfriendly running mate. You really didn't have to help us out, but we appreciate it just the same. I also found your post, "Moving Forward" quite amusing. I'm glad to see your tenacity has not been dimmed by the fact that you're supporting a woman of no more depth than a Neiman Marcus mannequin to become leader of the free world in 2012. This will make reelection more than simple. Still, if you keep plugging away, maybe you'll be able to get her elected PTA mom by 2016...because there's no way in Hell that woman should EVER be run for President. Look at your watch...it's 14:59...time to say goodbye, and sink back into obscurity. Any last words of relevance?

Mr. Brickley has indeed inspired people, and I can be counted among their ranks. I have been inspired to counsel the Obama/Biden administration the same way he's been inspired to counsel the McCain campaign...in other words, I'm going to shoot my mouth off without anyone really asking for my opinion.

Dear President Elect Obama,

Hi. My name is Michael Reyes, and I’m one of the millions who voted for you in the Presidential Election of 2008. I was one of those blue specks that outshone the red specks that Jersey happens to have. (You’d be surprised how red some parts of New Jersey are.) Introduction out of the way, I’d first like to say congratulations, you’ve won the office of the Presidency fair and square. No hanging chads, no problems in Ohio, just a good old fashioned American shutdown. You ran a campaign that was made for the 21st century, you won the illusive “minority and youth vote”, and you just generally kicked ass and inspired the nation to hope for a change of fate.

Your work, as you know, is not over, and you’re going to need a lot of people to help with the great work ahead…and I would like to be one of those people. I’ve already submitted a request for an application into your administration, though I have no idea what position I would best fit. I would humbly submit that any position I would occupy would be one as an “idea man”. In fact, I have a couple ideas already:

1.) Fire all the top brass at AIG. Any management that was involved in, or allowed the abuse of the bailout money should be scrubbed. No severance, no advanced notice, just toss them into the street and let the market have at them. They’ve taken more than enough advantage of the economy, there’s no room for second chances in the economy of these times. Let them worry about finding a new job after they’ve been laid off, let them worry about where the next paycheck is, let them feel the sting of economic uncertainty. Also, have the Government buy out AIG. The Government can buy out AIG, and turn it into low cost insurance for those who need it and those who are disadvantaged. Maybe you can support more tax cuts if we knock down the tab of all those who are uninsured, but still go to the ER to get fixed up. This is a good way to lower that tab, and ease the burden on the tax payers. Keep the staff underneath upper management; we don’t want to hurt the little guy. In fact, promote those who prove themselves most capable to those upper management jobs. Who will we get to replace the people on the bottom rung? Those who truly need jobs, but are legal citizens of this country. (I don’t mean to sound xenophobic, but we can’t just give these jobs away when there are so many deserving of them. Plus, this falls in line with your campaign platform of keeping jobs in this country.) See, right there is a solution for the Economy and Unemployment. One last thing…since the Government will most likely have bought out AIG with taxpayer money in this scenario, there’s one more thing that should happen…the American people MUST be made stockholders in this corporation. If the Taxpayers are going to pay for it, we should be getting something in return for it. Either we should get stock options, or better yet, we get some sort of break on insurance through AIG. You know as well as I do you don’t get something for nothing in this world, President Elect Obama.

2.) Start working on your campaign for 2012 in drips and drabs. The Republican machine is wounded right now, and it’s fixing for a victory. You need to make sure that you’re White House is as tightly locked and sealed as your campaign was. One way to do it is to keep those promises you made in the beginning. My AIG suggestion, no matter how impractical, could probably be tailored into a practical solution if you get the right brain trust to figure it out. I believe in impractical scenarios that can be whittled down and transformed into practical solutions. I would also extend this piece of advice to all Democrats out there…your reelections aren’t guaranteed. You’ve got to earn it, and the best way to do that is to keep the public interest at hand. Compromise only if necessary, otherwise carry the day on anything that’ll help the American people. You’ve finally started to do what the Republicans criticized you of not being able to do in the past…become the champions of the common man. Be a strong majority for the people, elected by the people, and caring only for the people. You take care of us, we’ll take care of you. Oldest rule in American politics…the only problem is usually it’s applied between holders of office. I believe it should be applied between the electorate and the office holders, because ultimately we’re your bosses. Keep us satisfied, and we’ll keep you employed. One last condition to this suggestion…get rid of Joe Liebermann. He’s done enough damage, and pushing him out so he can finally be ousted as the Republican he is should be a good start towards taking care of the people. Oh, and Senator Liebermann, to paraphrase a friend of mine who paraphrased the Godfather when talking about your betrayal, “Don’t ever take sides against the family.” (Thanks for that little gem, Chez.)

3.) Don’t forget about Joe the Vice President. Sarah Palin overran the media this election cycle, and she didn’t even give that many interviews. Don’t let Vice President Elect Biden fall along the wayside…I know I don’t have to tell you all of this, but I just want to make sure that he gets his due. (By the way, Vice President Elect Biden, great memoir. I’m almost done reading it, and I find it particularly interesting to hear about your experiences in Yugoslavian diplomacy.)

4.) Make Steven Colbert your Press Secretary…trust me on this one. If there’s anything this nation needed now more than ever, it’s truthiness. (If this were to ever happen, I would also request to be made Undersecretary, so that I may learn at the altar of Colbert.) Seriously though, pay attention to the bloggers. I could give you a list of people you should check out, if you like. We’ve been pulling for you since day one, and we want nothing but your continued success. All we ask is you help make a better world for everyone, and now and again some attention would be nice. Just a little suggestion, after all if a College Sophomore can draft a Vice Presidential pick, can’t another come up with valid solutions towards the nation’s ails?The future is literally in your hands, President Elect Obama…and the eyes of the world are upon you. Make us proud for voting you in, and make us really really want to bring you back in 2012. This nation shouldn’t have to suffer under a President Palin.


Michael Reyes, aka Mr. Controversy

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