Dear Stephenie Meyer,
It’s on. Your little book’s shitty movie outgrossed Bolt and Quantum of Solace this weekend. You’ve inspired the little shits I can’t stand at the movie theater to go to the movie theater in droves. As a result, I’ll probably lose some enjoyment of movies I want to see and that I paid to see, all because mommy and daddy are contemplating giving their daughters to the vampires because they are tired of hearing about how Edward is so dreamy. That little joke I made on Friday, the one about the book series…it’s not a joke anymore. It’s on, and I’m going to show everyone just how stupid your books are. It’s going to take a while, but it’ll be done, and it will be glorious. Your books are nothing more than watered down Anne Rice fan fiction anyway...I intend to draw sales and water it down even more by satirizing it.
You’re on notice,
P.S. I’m sending Jack Bauer after your vampires, because when he kills something it STAYS dead.
Why I’m voting for Obama
4 years ago