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Mike Reyes, aka Mr. Controversy, has considered himself a writer ever since he was a child. He wrote for various school publications from about 1995 until 2006, and currently runs both The Bookish Kind and Mr. Controversy, which is an offshoot of the regular column he wrote in High School. He's also authored several short stories such as "The Devil's Comedian", "The Devil v. George W. Bush", and most recently "Wait Until Tomorrow". He resides in New Jersey. Any inquiries for reprinting, writing services, or general contact, should be forwarded to: michaelreyes72@hotmail.com

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Monday, November 24, 2008

Rise of Dusk, Fall of Twilight

Dear Stephenie Meyer,

It’s on. Your little book’s shitty movie outgrossed Bolt and Quantum of Solace this weekend. You’ve inspired the little shits I can’t stand at the movie theater to go to the movie theater in droves. As a result, I’ll probably lose some enjoyment of movies I want to see and that I paid to see, all because mommy and daddy are contemplating giving their daughters to the vampires because they are tired of hearing about how Edward is so dreamy. That little joke I made on Friday, the one about the book series…it’s not a joke anymore. It’s on, and I’m going to show everyone just how stupid your books are. It’s going to take a while, but it’ll be done, and it will be glorious. Your books are nothing more than watered down Anne Rice fan fiction anyway...I intend to draw sales and water it down even more by satirizing it.

You’re on notice,

Mike Reyes

P.S. I’m sending Jack Bauer after your vampires, because when he kills something it STAYS dead.

6 comments:

Seresecros said...

Apart from Nina Myers.

Mr. Controversy said...

Hey, she's dead! Unless you're trying to reference the fact that Nina is the distant mom in Twilight...otherwise yeah, that's pretty funny.

julie said...

Twilight is not a good movie. The acting by the two leads is just...embarrassing. And, as my comrade said, "I hope they didn't pay someone to write this crap."

I tried to watch through the eyes of 14 y.o. me, but it just made me want to go back in time and kill myself.

Mr. Controversy said...

I actually saw the movie last month, and I did watch it through the eyes of my 14 year old self...I laughed at the incredible badness. It's a good MST movie, you have to admit that.

Mr. Controversy said...

I actually saw the movie last month, and I did watch it through the eyes of my 14 year old self...I laughed at the incredible badness. It's a good MST movie, you have to admit that.

Mr. Controversy said...

I actually saw the movie last month, and I did watch it through the eyes of my 14 year old self...I laughed at the incredible badness. It's a good MST movie, you have to admit that.