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Mike Reyes, aka Mr. Controversy, has considered himself a writer ever since he was a child. He wrote for various school publications from about 1995 until 2006, and currently runs both The Bookish Kind and Mr. Controversy, which is an offshoot of the regular column he wrote in High School. He's also authored several short stories such as "The Devil's Comedian", "The Devil v. George W. Bush", and most recently "Wait Until Tomorrow". He resides in New Jersey. Any inquiries for reprinting, writing services, or general contact, should be forwarded to: michaelreyes72@hotmail.com

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Monday, March 9, 2009

The Monday GAAAH! 3/9/09

Is it Monday already? Can we have a mulligan on the weekend, and do it over again? No? Bah...fine. Let's get down to business, shall we?

- Nadya Suleman will no longer be mentioned on this blog as of this moment. It’s done, it’s over, she’s crazy, let’s all go home and forget about the whole mess.

- The Vatican has its head so far up its ass; it’s started talking shit again. First, they say that the washing machine is the “most liberated device in history” on International Women’s Day; THEN they excommunicate a mother, her 9 year old daughter, and a doctor the day after. Why? The daughter had an emergency abortion, because she was four months pregnant with twins by her abusive stepfather. (By the way, the step father? Totally not excommunicated. In fact, he’s probably welcome with open fucking arms by priests who say, “Well at least yours was a girl.” Fuckers. Count on this to be extended into a full length piece.)

- Watchmen was pretty good. A little empty, but I think that’s because we’re all anticipating the longer cuts with more detail. Either way, it was a good condensed version and a hell of an IMAX movie. (Jimi Hendrix in IMAX…that’s all you need to know to see this film.)

- The Back to the Future trilogy was on Encore last night. Think we could get that into an IMAX rerelease?

- Many congratulations to President Obama on reversing 43’s decision to ban stem cell research! The glimmer of hope in Michael J. Fox’s voice this morning sounds like it would be enough to power an electric car. (And it’s about time the Government saw that stem cells use life to make life, which should by definition be seen as a good thing with “Pro Life” advocates.)

- Jeffrey Dean Morgan is the latest actor added to the list of actors to answer the question, “Who would I want to play me in a movie?” Others include Robert Downey Jr. and Matthew Broderick.

- If the GOP has ANY aspirations of running the country again (without being laughed at, and with marginal respect) they better fire Michael Steele, stop pinning their hope on Bobby “The NBC Page” Jindal, and retire Rush Limbaugh. Get some new (read: young and intelligent) blood into the party. (Oh, and forget Sarah Palin. It didn’t work the last time, it sure as hell won’t work the next.)

- RIP Circuit City. Thanks for the wonderful DVD shopping binge last weekend…I finally got myself that copy of In Bruges I so desperately wanted.

- The economy is shit, but that doesn’t mean you should stop spending. Just spend wiser, stock up on coupons, and limit your “nonessential spending”. Yeah, we’re all hurting and it’s not looking too bright in the near future, but if you budget the right way and become a little more selective/creative in what you’re buying, you’ll do well.

- As for all of you Wall Street brokers…pick up your balls, get out there, and buy! This mess isn’t going to clean itself up, and with renewable energy and pharmaceuticals being somewhat recession proof, we could use some uplifting. The same message I gave the consumers goes to all of you as well…be selective, look for that tanked stock that’s just overdue for an economic boom, and buy it up.

- I don’t smoke pot, but I can see why it should be legalized. Think of it: with government safeguards and tariffs in place, you could tax the shit out of tokes and put that money to good use. You could also ensure quality control, even limit the “buzz” and the side effects of the drug. Let’s be realistic…marijuana is going nowhere. People will continue to grow it, sell it, consume it, and joke about it. The least the government can do is tap into this revenue stream and make a shit load of money for the U.S. economy. Hell, we could even export it! It’s time to start paying those foreign loans back, and what better way to do it than with a guaranteed money maker?! I'm not a hippy...I'm just a capitalist that wants to steal hippy money and promote the welfare of the common American.

- 24’s on tonight. Who says America doesn’t have a religion?

- I freakin' knew Eliza Dushku was an alien. A cute alien I had a teenage crush on...but an alien nonetheless. WHO CALLED IT?! (Personally, I hope she decapitates Seth MacFarlane with that tongue of hers. We'd lose Family Guy, American Dad, The Cleveland Show, and Seth MacFarlane's Cavalcade of Comedy...all in one fell swoop.)

5 comments:

Jeremy Feist said...

This is what I love about those uptight Americans: We legalized gay marriage and pot up here, and thus far, we haven't been wiped off the face of the earth by the smiting hand of God. So hells yeah to legalization of the doobies! And also, I'm totally with you on the Seth MacFarlane haterade. I didn't mind the gay jokes from yesterday's episode, but come on, at least make them funny!

Mr. Controversy said...

I actually haven't watched Family Guy in a long time. In fact ,the last "new" episode I remember is "I Dream of Jesus" or whatever the one with The Bird song was. (Which was half a good episode, with a stupid Jesus subplot wedged in there.)

Strangely enough, I'm finding myself drawn back to The Simpsons. The more I watch it, the more I realize that not only is Family Guy ripping it off big time, bbut the Simpsons has the better writers that are able to blend nonsequitor jokes without having to leave the scene at hand. Fewer breaks in story, more random jokes and pop culture references. In short: The Simpsons is the funnier, faster, and stronger show of the two. Family Guy is the afterbirth, and may Daniel Plainview bludgeon it to death with a bowling pin.

Sarah The Anime Librarian said...

Your mantioning of the stupidity of the vadican's choices only reinforces why I dont belong to any orginized religion.

Have yet to see watchman...I had a dinner theater performance this past weekend. Hopefuly I will be seeing it soon.

I agree completely on the pot thing. I dont smoke it, but I did vote to make it a misdemeanor here in MA to have an ounce or less. Had I been given the choice, I would have voted for it to be legal and taxable. We do it for booze, why not pot?

And agreed to the above comment. Gay marriage has been legal here in MA for awhile, and I haven't noticed any "big gay army" coming to ruin my marriage. I have not been infected by the "Gay Virus" by any of my gay or lesbian friends. My husband has spontaniously combusted at the news. To quote to those having kittens about the idea, "Have a coke and a smile and shut the %@%#@#% up."

The Caustic Critic said...

I agree on Family Guy, though I will admit I am sort of excited for the upcoming episode featuring the voices of the entire case of ST:TNG (because I am nerdy like that.) I think part of the reason The Simpsons is better has to do with the fact that it has a heart--sometimes it's tough to find, but there is one. The family is bizarre and funny and surreal, but when it comes down to it, they are still a family who love one another and the dynamics play out that way.

Mr. Controversy said...

Jeremy and Sarah: Agreed. Ooh, it's so scary...people loving each other and entering in partnerships allowed by law. Ooh...I'm going to hide under the covers and read the Hardy Boys now, while I wait for this menace to subside.

There are some narrowminded assholes out there, they can't even do simple math. Here's the perfect arguement:

Gay marriages = more taxes, more money for divorce lawyers [should they disagree], more foster children being loved.

Now take that arguement and change "gay" to "more" and it still works, so by transitive property More Marriages = Gay Marriages, and the rest flows down like wine. Unless they want to stop the practice of marriage all together (seeing as More marriages = Gay Marriages) then they can jolly well do that. But seeing as these same people believe you must be married to procreate, they're dooming humanity. So we MUST have gay marriages (since Gay = More), because society depends on it. Either that makes a lot of sense or I'm a nutter.

Caustic Critic: I too look forward to the TNG episode, also because of "the geek virus". I also agree on The Simpsons. Sure, everyone of them is quirky and dysfunctional in their own way, but it takes one to love one. The Griffins seem like a family of college students who would rather rip on each other than actually show affection. (Except Stewie and Brian...they seem genuinely capable of feeling.)