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Mike Reyes, aka Mr. Controversy, has considered himself a writer ever since he was a child. He wrote for various school publications from about 1995 until 2006, and currently runs both The Bookish Kind and Mr. Controversy, which is an offshoot of the regular column he wrote in High School. He's also authored several short stories such as "The Devil's Comedian", "The Devil v. George W. Bush", and most recently "Wait Until Tomorrow". He resides in New Jersey. Any inquiries for reprinting, writing services, or general contact, should be forwarded to: michaelreyes72@hotmail.com

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Friday, March 13, 2009

Oh fuck off, Dr. Phil.

I made a promise on Monday not to mention a certain media celebrity on Monday, and I'm holding up my end of the bargain. In fact, it's not her I'm taking issue with today, it's someone else. I'm not even going to post her picture with this article. This is just gonna sit here, and when you read it you'll know why I'm angry.

Seriously, fuck Dr. Phil. He wants to talk about "enabling" people? What does he call engineering a deal for a new house and a fleet of nurses for Angelina Fauxlie? (It doesn't help matters that Gloria Allred was involved...she's such a leach she wears a white suit when she bleeds her clients.) Phil, buddy, you're NOT a real doctor and even Oprah knew to steer clear of something like this. (She only interviewed the family.) I hope all of this is coming out of your fucking pocket, because there's no way in hell I'm paying into this. You want to play doctor, fine...YOU write the checks then. If this is in any way publically funded, I hope to God someone calls you out on it and strings you up for what you're worth. You are nothing more than a pale imitation of Oprah, and nothing says it more than your performance in the trailer to Madea Goes To Jail. On second thought, I lied...your little wildfire relief special from last year is even more of a cop out. (Seriously, everytime I had to hear the words, "And EVERYONE IS GETTING ONE!", I wanted to throttle your bald face.)


I understand the children need care, that's all well and good...so why don't you, your family, and some of your celebrity friends strap on some aprons, warm up some bottles, and pitch in yourselves? You're a fame whore anyway, why not do what the Big Oprah would do and do it yourself? Otherwise, produce your credentials and get the hell out of my face.

Sincerely,

Mike Reyes, aka Mr. Controversy

2 comments:

Sarah The Anime Librarian said...

Oh hell YES!

THANK YOU sir!

Mr. Controversy said...

No, thank you. I feel I should thank the readers more, seeing as they've come to hear me pander, obfuscate, and crack wise. :)