First off, I was thinking of yet again announcing that I’d be taking a brief sabbatical. I was dumped this past weekend, and I thought I just needed time to cope. That is complete bunk, because if anything this is the type of therapy I need right now. I need to keep talking, I need to keep going out with friends, and I need to keep writing. This is a pretty big void to fill, and I’m certainly not turning to food to fill it. (I’m enough of a pudge as it is. =P)
This doesn’t mean I’m going to write at length about what happened, at least not at this time. As much as I would want to “write it out”, I believe it would be disrespectful to myself and Danielle. I have too much respect and love for her, no matter what terms it all ended on. I’m not going to lie: I’m hurt, I’m lost, and I feel like I have a knife in my heart and I’m slumped over in an alley bleeding out. I just wish I were enough for her. As the song says, “I’ll only miss her when I think of her…and I’ll think of her all the time.” No offense to you all here, but if it meant she’d stay I’d read any book, see any movie, and I’d even stop this blog dead in its tracks. (I’d still be friends with you lot though, and I’d visit your blogs. No sense getting rid of friends.)
Naturally, I still hope for a day she’ll come back to me, and it doesn’t help that I was planning on possibly proposing to her by our third anniversary. However, I guess that third anniversary will rest where the fifth season of BSG, the seventh book of the Hitchhiker’s Guide trilogy, and the eighth Harry Potter book all reside…it’s not happening. At least I don’t see it happening. (Forgive me, I’m having a hard time accepting the gravity and reality of the situation.)
To hopefully brighten the mood a bit, here’s the top 12 posts I’ve had on here, and yes she’s a part of some of them. It’s not my fault that some of the best work I’ve done came from the love we once shared. Even though the blog started last April, we’ll be starting in May seeing as that was when I started posting substantial posts here.
May 2008: Speed Freak
June: Kids Protest the Darndest Things
July: The Devil v. George W. Bush (Part I)
August: Convention-al Thinking (Day 1)
September: Comedy and Politics: Perfect Together
October: The Broken Seeking The Broken
November: The Recovering Republican's Notes from the (Conservative) Underground
December: Team "Me": How "looking out for number 1" helps us all.
January 2009: Sudden Halt In Talent Syndrome: A Case Study
February: Frost/Nixon II: Dick Harder
March: The Devil's Comedian
April: In The Wake
Any suggestions for posts/rants/therapeutic practices, please leave them in the comments. You are all awesome. Even the girl who dumped me is awesome. And should she ever want to talk to me, she knows where to find me. I just hope she does, because I miss her and I hope to God she misses me too.
In any event, thank you to you all for making me who I am and giving me something to do with my spare time. I'll keep writing if you keep reading. (The quality, however, I'm not making any promises on.)
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5 years ago