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Mike Reyes, aka Mr. Controversy, has considered himself a writer ever since he was a child. He wrote for various school publications from about 1995 until 2006, and currently runs both The Bookish Kind and Mr. Controversy, which is an offshoot of the regular column he wrote in High School. He's also authored several short stories such as "The Devil's Comedian", "The Devil v. George W. Bush", and most recently "Wait Until Tomorrow". He resides in New Jersey. Any inquiries for reprinting, writing services, or general contact, should be forwarded to: michaelreyes72@hotmail.com

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Thursday, August 13, 2009

Cut & Print - 8/13/09

This is kinda like "The Monday GAAAH!" (which shall return, when it does), but this is all movie related. These items aren't really long form pieces, just stuff I felt I needed to share with you, the audience.

First off, here's the red band trailer for "Legion". Basic story: God wants us all dead, so he's sending his angels to finish the job. Archangel Michael defects to save an unborn child who is the new savior of humanity. Or, as some have described it, "angels with machine guns". Count me in for a ticket. (And Dennis Quaid, I forgive you for G.I. Joe.)





Second, here's the poster for Sandra Bullock's new comedy waste of effort, All About Steve. Here's a big tip Hollywood...no matter how hot, fresh, or funny your leading man is, Sandra Bullock will kill his career. Especially if it's in a "romantic comedy".

You want proof?

- Hugh Grant: hasn't really done anything big since Two Weeks Notice. (Though I'll admit, that one was kinda cute.)

- George Lopez: She was a guest staroh his show...which was cancelled after two seasons. Coincidence?

- Brendan Fraser: played her husband in Crash...and then did the third Mummy movie, followed by Journey To The Center of the Earth, followed by G.I. Joe. (Which he was funny in, but the movie sucked.)

- Ryan Reynolds: went from being on the rise in awesome movies like Just Friends to being in X-Men Origins and The Proposal. Also married Scarlett Johannson, which really isn't going to set off any career buzzers either.

How are we to know that Bradley Cooper didn't lose out on Green Lantern because of this? (I know Ryan Reynolds got the role eventually, shut up.) Look, I get it...Hollywood finally saw that Bradley Cooper was an underappreciated actor. He was awesome as Will Tippin in Alias, he was a perfect asshole in Wedding Crashers, and I was one of the few loyal viewers to Kitchen Confidential before Fox fucked it up! Now he's got "The Hangover" under his belt (as well as fellow All About Steve cast member/poster casualty Ken Leong), and this looks like it could kill his career. Because this just screams, "Hey Kids! Did you like the Hangover? Well THIS is just as funny!", which is gonna lead to disappointed people. Why didn't they just photoshop Zack Galafinikis's head in there, and retitle it, "Spot the Re-Tard"? It's funny, it calls back directly to a gag from the film, and I dare you to look at Sandra Bullock in this poster, and tell me that doesn't fit!

Robert Stack doesn't have to resurrect his ass from the grave to tell you this...Sandra Bullock is box office poison! Do us all a favor Hollywood...give us a Murder by Numbers sequel. She was awesome in that picture! In the meantime, you really should retitle your movie. If it was really as "All About Steve" as you say it is, then why isn't Steve center frame with everyone looking at him?! Oh right...this is a Sandra Bullock picture. Not too late to change the title, Fox! Seriously, bank that "Spot the Re-Tard" option. Consider it thanks for Avatar!

Which leads me to the final bit of news...Monday, August 17th is the day geeks everywhere get to reserve their tickets to Avatar Day screenings taking place on Friday, August 21st. The presentation will consist of a 16 minute sneak peek of James Cameron's latest opus, and will be on limited 2D, 3D, and IMAX/IMAX 3D screens worldwide. The trailer for the tie in game and all the merchandising will also be unveiled that same day. Go to avatarmovie.com on Monday at 12 PM (3 PM EST) to reserve your seats! If you don't get in, they'll still be unveiling the 2-D trailer that same day. (With Inglorious Bastards, if they're smart. You don't fuck with Tarantino and get away with it.)

And that's all I've got on that! As for the here and now, I've booked passage into District 9 tonight. (Seeing as I missed the NY screening, I figure a midnight screening is the way to go.) I'll try and be back later with something that's not so movie oriented. (But I will admit, is a bit of a downer.)

2 comments:

dammitjanet said...

Hey, Mr. C....I haven't heard from the Overlords yet...you?

Mr. Controversy said...

No ma'am, I have not. I do, however, look forward to your EE moderatorship. :) And once more, congratu-freakin-lations on getting hitched once more. You truly look happy, and it's wonderful to see! :) How's wedded bliss?