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Mike Reyes, aka Mr. Controversy, has considered himself a writer ever since he was a child. He wrote for various school publications from about 1995 until 2006, and currently runs both The Bookish Kind and Mr. Controversy, which is an offshoot of the regular column he wrote in High School. He's also a film journalist/critic for Cocktails & Movies and CinemaBlend, as well as the author of several short stories such as "The Devil v. George W. Bush". Any inquiries for reprinting, writing services, or general contact, should be forwarded to: mikereyeswrites@gmail.com

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Monday, January 25, 2010

The Monday GAAAH! (1/22/10)

Yes my friends, it’s finally back. After a long absence, The Monday GAAAH has returned, and not a moment too soon. Let the week of GAAAH commence.

- The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien went out with an amazing bang on Friday. Sources say that Jay Leno was so floored, he couldn't Jay-walk until hours after.

- Jimmy Fallon: I know we have our disagreements on how funny you are, but I have to commend you on your tribute to Conan on Friday night. Well played sir, well played.

- Can we end the Pants on the Ground fad before it kicks itself into William Hung Overdrive? (Note: That's all in capitals because it's the latest in the line of Punk Rock band titles I've been creating.) I'm really sick of hearing about the latest contestant fad from American Idol. THIS ISN'T NEWS!

- Kate Gosselin...hair extensions and a crappy new reality show where you take on different jobs each week don't make up for a shitty personality. Though I would laugh if you became a hooker for a week, because that's so meta it's mindblowing.

- And while we're on the Reality TV bandwagon, let's keep things rolling with some commentary on The Bachelor/The Bachelorette. Let me tell you, that is the dream job for anyone who wants to get paid to get laid and not feel like a common street whore. Honestly, this is just legalized and publicized prostitution; with a little bit of a spit in the face of marriage.

- Speaking of legalized and publicized prostitution, Jersey Shore's cast has been asking for a rate increase in order for the old crew to come back to MTV. You know what I'd do if I was at MTV? I'd tell them to fuck off and that they either take a minor (but reasonable) increase of compensation, or I'll hire a new group of Guidos and Guidettes. They're a dime a dozen, and all you have to do for a casting call is spend a weekend in a Seaside Heights bar. Boom, there's your audition.

- The Democrats need to toughen up for 2010. It's good to see Obama getting the band back together and bringing in David Plouffe back into the fray. All they need is some sort of cabinet position for James Carville and we'll have a fine enough midterm election...cajun style.

- Mike Huckabee...please run again in 2012. If Obama has to face a Republican Waterloo, I'd rather it be at the hands of someone who seems like a nice guy and could get the job done than at the hands of say a former nude model or a former beauty pageant who just LOVES to Teabag.

- I'm glad to see 24 back on the air, but the season premiere has me left with middling feelings. On one hand, I'm glad to see the return of Jack Bauer, Chloe O'Brian, and CTU; but I'm afraid that the way they've handled Jack ever since season 5 has been weak tea. On the plus side, Cole Ortiz is the first Jack Bauer clone since Curtis Manning that's felt awesome enough to do the job. Also, the premiere did feel like they were starting in the middle of a season arc as opposed to starting with all the pieces in starting formation. There's enough of a shake up to make things interesting, all we need now is more competent CTU leadership and Starbuck Dana Walsh in a bikini and we'll be set for a greenlight on season 9. (Which should be set in London, and should be the final season.)

- Post this in your Status Message if you read Mr. Controversy, and are sick and tired of people using their status messages for silly little status message spam/chain mail.

- My Futile Box Office Predictions for the weekend are:

1. Avatar
2. Legion
3. When In Rome
Lovable Loser: Edge of Darkness (Mel Gibson looks good in it, but I have a feeling it's not going to be wheeling in the box office cash Taken did last year. It might, but I doubt it.)

- Avatar was pretty good. The story was lifted from Pocahontas and Ferngully: The Last Rainforest, but it was still fun to watch. I give it two more weekends to break the records Titanic set.

- Jay Leno...still hate you.

- Freebird.

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