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Mike Reyes, aka Mr. Controversy, has considered himself a writer ever since he was a child. He wrote for various school publications from about 1995 until 2006, and currently runs both The Bookish Kind and Mr. Controversy, which is an offshoot of the regular column he wrote in High School. He's also authored several short stories such as "The Devil's Comedian", "The Devil v. George W. Bush", and most recently "Wait Until Tomorrow". He resides in New Jersey. Any inquiries for reprinting, writing services, or general contact, should be forwarded to: michaelreyes72@hotmail.com

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Monday, February 1, 2010

The Monday GAAAH! (2/1/10)

Such is the inequity of man that another Monday has fallen upon us. Nevertheless, let us solider on and make our way through The Day of Bauer with as much grace and civility as we can muster, for by the end of this evening someone will get Bauer'd and rightfully so. (A side note: In German, this would be known as "Montag Der GAAAH!". Just thought that was a neat little fact.)

- The Grammys were on last night. Yeah, I didn't give a shit either. However, congratulations must go to Michael Buble and Michael Giacchino for both winning some Grammy gold last night. The show is still shite, but it's a little less shite with awards going to people who deserve them.

- However, Single Ladies (Put a Ring On It) winning Song of the Year was unacceptable. It's songwriting at its most minimal, and at best it should win an award for "Most Annoying Earwig of the Year". Best Song my ass.

- Andrew Young got his ass grilled on Good Morning America this morning. George Stephanopoulos should be renamed George Foreman, it was that bad. If Malcolm Tucker or Jamie McDonald truly existed, it'd be a shouting match to see who got to throttle him, who got to fire him, and which order to do it in. (By the way, if you pull up the first half of the interview, 03:25 is the worst piece of floundering EVER. I wouldn't be surprised if Fox News jumped all over this.)

- Avatar will break the Domestic Box Office Record held by Titanic between Today and Wednesday. Judging by Box Office Mojo's tracking numbers, that's how long it needs to maintain its daily $3 mil + numbers for Weekday Box Office. I also predict that Shutter Island will be the movie to knock it off of its Number 1 perch. (At least, I hope it is. I'd rather see that than the insipid Valentine's Day manage to do it.) Mr. Cameron, you're on in 5. This week's Futile Box Office Projections:

1. Avatar

2. From Paris With Love

3. Dear John

Lovable Loser of the Week: Shutter Island, for not being released until February 19th.

- The Academy Awards will be announcing their nominations tomorrow morning. I really don't see this 10 picture system working, but I guess we'll see what happens. (Also, I wonder if AMC will be running their Best Picture Showcase this year, thanks to said system change?)

- Spoiler alert for Dear John :it follows the patented Nicholas Sparks formula. Boy meets girl, girl falls for boy, likewise with the boy, they make time and eventually split when someone up and dies to spoil their fun. Cue professions of eternal love and violins. Guys, you may now fall asleep during the film; or if by some sick perversion you stay awake, you'll be able to pretend as if you actually paid attention to the plot and not the gorgeous Amanda Seyfried. (By the way, that link up their is a summary for the book. The film may differ, but if you nitpick it enough, the ladies will be impressed.)

- A slight piece of advice: don't go on a drinking binge the night before you have to go to the gym. If you do, at the very least pop some aspirin and drink a fair amount of water before going to bed. It really helps.

- Squirrel.

- Jersey Shore is heading into a second season, and it looks like the housemates are going to another location so the show can be filmed for broadcast this summer. My suggestion: ship these numbskulls out to California. They can never get enough crazy out there.

- I fistpumped for the first time this weekend. Can't say I'm proud of it, but at least I understand it better now, much like a priest after his first encounter with black magic.

- Guinness...what a great beer.

- I wish I was on vacation right now. It'd be nice to be out of the state and enjoying no responsibilities and no rules. Provided I wasn't staying where the Jersey Shore fucktards will be spending their next season. Then I'd be on a full out action fueled rampage.

- Spellcheck doesn't recognize fucktards. That makes me sad.

- Li'l Wayne's voice annoys the fuck out of me. I always want to blow something up when I hear him singing.

- Yeah...squirrel.

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