Mike Reyes, aka Mr. Controversy, has considered himself a writer ever since he was a child. He wrote for various school publications from about 1995 until 2006, and currently runs both The Bookish Kind and Mr. Controversy, which is an offshoot of the regular column he wrote in High School. He's also authored several short stories such as "The Devil's Comedian", "The Devil v. George W. Bush", and most recently "Wait Until Tomorrow". He resides in New Jersey. Any inquiries for reprinting, writing services, or general contact, should be forwarded to: firstname.lastname@example.org
It's the Tuesday after a Monday off, which means the GAAAH bomb for the week is dropped today. So grab your cowboy hat, and let's ride the remains of the weekend into the ground.
- Expect a review of The Magicians today. Next up is a Comic Break with Indiana Jones and the Spear of Destiny, followed by Dennis Lehane's Shutter Island.
- It's time once again for AMC's Best Picture Showcase. This year's gripe: AMC's enforcing their "No Outside Food or Drink Policy". So if you're like me (that is to say, a human with a digestive tract that needs to be fed every 4 hours) you're fucked, because Popcorn does nothing, and if you're going to a location that doesn't have too many dining options, you're stuck with shitty theater food. That said, you can go purchase tickets online here. (Note: In order to get the MovieWatchers Club rate of $40 for the Two Day Pass, you need to go to the box office and purchase a ticket in person. They DO NOT have the MovieWatchers rate online.) - Dear Kardashian Family,
No one really cares about your triumphs, drama, and struggles. We're all just in it for the laughs. Stop taking yourselves seriously, you'll end up just like Pinocchio when he discovered his strings.
Sincerely, Mr. Controversy
- Rent Adventureland. It's funny, it's heartfelt, and it's probably the best thing Kristen Stewart has done so far that's been released to the general public. (The Runaways hasn't been released yet, and Welcome to the Rileys hasn't made it past the festival scene just yet; so those don't count.)
- Senator Evan Bayh...you're a whiny bitch. If things aren't getting done in your organization, you fight harder. That is a Sarah Palin move, buddy; and I'm not the only one that thinks it. You don't retire and leave your party open to the enemy, where even less will get done! As an act of atrition, you should sit out the rest of your term and give your seat to James Carville. (Yes, I know he's not from Indiana, but you know he wouldn't be a little bitch.) The Senate doesn't love you back, ass.
- The Natalie Portman Rap is much funnier uncensored. Proof that bleeping doesn't always make for funnier comedy.
- Happy Mardi Gras everyone! Get some beads, eat a King Cake, and find another excuse to put Drew Brees on the goddamn news again. (Seriously, the Super Bowl's been over for a good week and a half now. Let it go, kids.)
- Snow...still pretty. A bitch to walk/drive in, but still pretty.
- James Cameron...yeah, still want your job.
- I'm thinking of changing the site's tagline. Not sure if I will, but it's one of the new ideas I'm toying with in an effort to improve the site.
- Valentine's Day set a President's Day record at the box office. I guess the shrill harpies out numbered the lil' fuckers this weekend. Though, I was right in thining The Wolfman would be a third place finisher. Here's this weekend's Futile Box Office predictions:
1. Shutter Island (Criminal insanity and mindfucks make for box office dough if you hire the right actors.)
2. Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Lightning Thief (Because Chris Columbus isn't all that good at any other type of movie, folks. Just give him some wise beyond their years kids with powers of observation or magic, and watch the dump trucks back in. I still won't watch it though, seeing as I couldn't give a shit that the kid's mom dies in the first 100 pages.)
3. Valentine's Day (Because I still have some hope for intelligence in this world, and having this rise above third place would be too damaging to that hope.)
Loveable Loser: From Paris With Love (Apparently, people can't separate Cool Travolta from Revolting Travolta. I'll probably catch this on DVD, seeing as Shutter Island is priority one.)
- I've recently switched to Netflix. Blockbuster can go to Hell now.
- Panama. (guitar riff) Pa-na-ma-ha.
To kick this week off, here's Jack Bauer. (Cue up this video, and skip to 00:27)