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Mike Reyes, aka Mr. Controversy, has considered himself a writer ever since he was a child. He wrote for various school publications from about 1995 until 2006, and currently runs both The Bookish Kind and Mr. Controversy, which is an offshoot of the regular column he wrote in High School. He's also authored several short stories such as "The Devil's Comedian", "The Devil v. George W. Bush", and most recently "Wait Until Tomorrow". He resides in New Jersey. Any inquiries for reprinting, writing services, or general contact, should be forwarded to: michaelreyes72@hotmail.com

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Monday, April 19, 2010

The Monday GAAAH! (4/19/10)

First off, I'd like to give a special thanks to Chris L. for providing the graphic for this week. If anyone else has graphics they'd like to have included in any of my posts, feel free to submit them through the usual channels. (Just comment on this post with an email address and I'll get back to you.)

After a day of Tweeting and Doctor Who, I went to sleep feeling that Sundays were given a bad rap during my childhood. Even waking up this morning, Monday didn't seem too painful itself. So today's GAAAH might be a more understated one. (Who am I kidding? I'll find something to comedically bitch about.)

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My girlfriend is no longer a vegitarian, but she still doesn't approve of Animal Cruelty. (And really, who does besides sick bastards and serial killers?) Therefore, I've created a new advocacy group I think we can all support. Meatlovers and vegitarians alike can stand together in a show of human solidarity when they become a part of People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, specifically For Ingestion, Lovability, and Entertainment, or P.E.T.A.F.I.L.E. for short.

- WTF-AWESOME SAUCE-BBQ?! Kick Ass did indeed kick ass, but How to Train Your Dragon pulled a Polar Express and climbed to number 1 weeks after it had entered the charts! I'm shocked, but in the best way possible. Two really good movies managed to keep the top spots away from crappy 3D upconversions and pop stars who sound like chain smokers. Just wow. Here's this week's Futile Box Office Predictions:

1. How to Train Your Dragon
(Because one could hope that such awesome will stay on top, where it belongs.)

2. Kick Ass

(Word of mouth might keep this puppy where it belongs.)

3. The Losers
(Because while it looks good, it feels like it's going to be a hard sell with a PG13 rating.)

Lovable Loser of the Week: Oceans, because Disney seems to mean well with these environmental pictures; yet they don't seem to set the Box Office on fire. (And that Jonas/Lovato duet is really in bad taste. We're supposed to be stopping ecological disasters, not creating them, Disney.)

Loathable Loser of the Week: The Backup Plan, for being a CBS Film that once again looks like it was made for TV and yet again reinforces only the worst romantic comedy stereotypes that Hollywood has to offer. It's a shame Jennifer Lopez only really made one film in her career and then let this J.Lo character take over. She showed a lot of potential in Out of Sight.

- I'm going to New York this week, on Earth Day of all days. Anybody know of any awesome activities that'll be going on?

- Anyone else looking forward to Iron Man 2?

- I urge all video game fans and orchestral music fans to go buy/download/listen to the album Distant Worlds. It contains the most beautiful renditions of Final Fantasy music you will ever hear, particularly the Opera of Maria and Draco.

- Ripped from the headlines: "An NYPD commander who apparently digs the "Twilight" saga is accused of sexually harassing a detective with unwanted massages and texts". The funny part about this story? He's actually emulating the behavior of Jacob quite well, minus the pedostalking. I'd look into that if I were you, NYPD.

- Roger Ebert hated Kick Ass, partially because of the whole Hit Girl aspect of the film, which he found "morally reprehensible". While I respect the man and his opinion, I have to politely disagree with his criticism. Why? Because there are plenty of films where children fight back against (and sometimes kill) the bad guys, some even animated. (Have we forgotten The Incredibles, Home Alone, and countless other films that use the trope of children in danger kicking ass?) I just find it a little hypocritical that The Incredibles gets 3.5 stars (as it deserves) while Kick Ass gets 1.5 stars (when it deserves about a 3). C'mon, Elastigirl's speech to her children on preserving their identities basically addressed this issue: kid or adult, if you're a superhero, the villains WILL try to kill you. Ebert gets a bad rap from some assuming he's "out of touch" but the man isn't out of touch with the times. (He has a Twitter, for God's sake!) He just has his opinion, and while I disagree with it I defend that point. Roger Ebert didn't like Kick Ass, but he enjoyed the remake to Death at a Funeral. Deal with it, America. (ESPECIALLY Harry Knowles.)

- Unfortunate MSN Headline Pairing of the Week: "Pacino as Kevorkian Nicolas Cage buys tomb". BONUS Entry for a Single Headline: "Who Looked Hot on Country's Carpet?"

- If you're on Twitter, chat with @MurrayGold. Yes THAT Murray Gold. He's quite a fun fellow to talk to.

- Good Morning America had a report on 3D TVs today, stating that they require a lot of health advisories in order for you to operate one safely. One of the recommended precautions is that you shouldn't watch 3D TV while drinking. Do you hear that? That's the only chance of Beerfest ever going to 3D BluRay going out the window?! Thanks a lot, idiots!

To start this week off, I've selected "The Fantastic Mr. Fox (Petey's Song)" by Jarvis Cocker; if anything so that people will take notice and see this film (or see it again). This year's Oscar race for Best Animated Picture was a crowded field of awesome, and if Up didn't win it, then this certainly would have. Also, Mondays require easing into, and what better to set you at ease than the smooth tones of a banjo.

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