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Mike Reyes, aka Mr. Controversy, has considered himself a writer ever since he was a child. He wrote for various school publications from about 1995 until 2006, and currently runs both The Bookish Kind and Mr. Controversy, which is an offshoot of the regular column he wrote in High School. He's also authored several short stories such as "The Devil's Comedian", "The Devil v. George W. Bush", and most recently "Wait Until Tomorrow". He resides in New Jersey. Any inquiries for reprinting, writing services, or general contact, should be forwarded to: michaelreyes72@hotmail.com

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Sunday, April 25, 2010

The Monday GAAAH! (4/26/10)


Good Monday Morning, kiddies! The weekend's passed through our lives like that good friend that happens to stop by once a week to get us arrested and drunk. (Possibly in that order too.) Now Monday stands over us with its ruler in hand, glasses firmly wedged on the bridge of its nose, and a firm glare in its eyes. Let's take our seats and start the battle that is the week.

- I have some new hate mail on the Kei$ha piece I did for Musical Anatomy a couple weeks ago. I think it's the most hate mail I've received since the Bra Color Fiasco. High marks for all.

- Of course Oprah debuted the Eclipse trailer. If you're going to peddle melodramatic relationships with pedophiles and half baked romance, she's your main man.

- How to Train Your Dragon looks like it's had yet another successful weekend at the box office, this time possibly keeping the #1 crown! Unfortunately, The Back Up Plan's promises of candy in the back of a van worked for female movie goers. Sorry guys, you'll probably have to see it this weekend if you haven't already. That said, here are this week's Futile Box Office Predictions:

1. A Nightmare on Elm Street
(Yes, I am against this film; but at the same time I want Jackie Earle Haley to succeed so much. The man's really done himself a solid in his career, and I want nothing more than for him to be another Robert Downey Jr. But still...this looks like another unnessicary horror remake produced by Michael Bay, and we all know how well THOSE turn out.)

2. How to Train Your Dragon
(It's lasted this long, and with one more week in IMAX it'll possibly draw some serious figures in this weekend.)

3. Furry Vengance
(Because deep down, we all want the "little SOB's" to pipe down. Also, Brendan Fraser is on a rocket sled to hell, and Summit Entertainment couldn't produce a decent hit worthy of its success for the life of themselves.)

Lovable Loser of the Week: Harry Brown, for not securing a wider release. The world needs more Michael Caine asskickings. Get on it, Hollywood!

Loathable Winner of the Week: The Back Up Plan, for once more removing a piece of my faith that an iota of taste inhabits that of the average female movie-goer. (To the women that choose more complex fare...you're awesome.)

- Stephen Colbert is awesome. I'm not getting paid to say that, but if I was I'd say it even louder, on TV, with dancing women holding up his visage. Just to get the point across.

- I'm going to put together a rock band that plays at BeerFests during the summer. We're going to be called Brewtiful Dreamer and we're going to rock.

- Speaking of rock: Can one really see a million faces and rock them all? I guess it would depend on the strength of your rockitude, plus the air conditions/shape of the venue and plenty of other variables. Looking at it scientifically, it's hard to believe Bon Jovi could do such a thing, but maybe hairspray amplifies rockitude. I don't know for sure, but I've commissioned studies to find out.

- Follow @NoelClarke on Twitter. He's not the Tin Dog anymore, and he's quite fun to talk to. (Tell him @MrControversy83 sent you.)

- Unfortunate MSN Popular Search Topic Pairings of the Day:

Boy was this Monday a good one for unfortunate pairings:


Alicia Silverstone & pregnancy New 'Kate Plus 8' - As if she's really planning to take over the unfillable bitch heels of Ms. Gosslin.

Pills & brain power Jon Gosselin & child support - If Jon Gosselin has brain power, he'd have put his wife on the pill and avoided the eventual child support he'd have to pay out. (Ha ha...creativity.)

Kristen Stewart 'Wanted'? Britney Spears on 'Glee'? - What are "Things That Should Never Be Mixed", Alex?

- By the way, that Eclipse trailer was laughably bad. The "action" looks about as violent as a pillow fight. Can't wait for the Rifftrax guys to get their hands on the film.

- YouTube seems to be spawning more and more ridiculously unentertaining Internet Celebrities. I'd say kill it with fire, but how else am I going to listen to unreleased cues from Doctor Who?

-Also, Steven Moffat continues to kill it with Doctor Who this season. Just caught up with The Beast Below last night & it's a hell of an episode. I don't see why everyone's complained?! Next up: The Mark Gatiss penned "Victory of the Daleks" and Steven Moffat's "Awesome Fan Service Palooza" first of two parter "The Time of Angels". Oh River...we missed you so much.

And here to play us into the week is noneother than the amazing Squirrel Nut Zippers, whom I hope show up to Jersey one day in the future. (Hint hint, guys. You'd be perfect at The Basie.)

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