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Mike Reyes, aka Mr. Controversy, has considered himself a writer ever since he was a child. He wrote for various school publications from about 1995 until 2006, and currently runs both The Bookish Kind and Mr. Controversy, which is an offshoot of the regular column he wrote in High School. He's also authored several short stories such as "The Devil's Comedian", "The Devil v. George W. Bush", and most recently "Wait Until Tomorrow". He resides in New Jersey. Any inquiries for reprinting, writing services, or general contact, should be forwarded to: michaelreyes72@hotmail.com

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Monday, May 24, 2010

The Monday GAAAH! (5/24/10)


We return to the working week with a dreary, but hopefully brightened Monday.  Ready to take it all down again?  I thought so.  You may GAAAH when ready.


- We begin this week with some breaking news: THE BIEBSTER IS DOWN! REPEAT, THE BIEBSTER IS DOWN!



Anyone else find it convenient that this was covered by a German news broadcast? I bet he'll remember what Germany is now.

- Shrek Goes Forth, Forever After, the Final Chapter in IMAX 3D topped the charts this weekend at the box office.  However it brought in a paltry sum compared to all of its predecessors, signalling that the Shrek franchise is probably over and done with.  Which is good, because if they followed the logical progression of events, we'd see a Shrek 2 clone on the horizon, thus opening ourselves up to a Shrek 3 clone.  Which then opens the fucking Pandorica.  (I hope you're goddamn happy Dreamworks.)  Here's this week's Futile Box Office Predictions:

1. Sex and the City 2
(Where is your God now?)

2. Shrek Goes Forth, Forever After, the Final Chapter in IMAX 3D
(No, seriously, where's your fucking God?)

3.  Iron Man 2
(It looks like the tactic that made the first film soar at the box office, as well as lackluster to lukewarm reviews, has killed the sequel's chances at even coming close to The Dark Knight's cape and cowl.  Plus with Inception coming out, it looks like Chris Nolan wins the Summer again.)

Lovable Loser of the Week: Iron Man 2, because while it was a decent follow up to the first film, there were so many squandered opportunities.  (Plus Sam Rockwell and Don Cheadle were robbed of any significant storyline development/screen time.)

Loathable Winner of the Week: Sex and the City 2: Win, Place, Show, because while crude oil pumps into the water and worldwide economics are taking a front seat in the news; is it really a good time for four aging, horny bitches to flee the country in pursuit of decadence?  If you REALLY wanted this, why don't you just go read the stuck up DABA Girls website?  Seriously, there's better things to be doing.  Fuck your horse show.

- Things to Look Out For This Week on Mr. Controversy:

*
Another entry in Musical Anatomy
*A review on Bloodsucking Fiends
*A "best of" 24 series retrospective
*More Sex and the City mockery
*Milkshakes

- Bonus Points to whoever starts a chant of "That's My Horse!" or starts singing "Amazing Horse" if they happen to be at the movie theater when Sex and the City 2 is playing.

- This Week in MSN's "DO NOT WANT!" file: Abdul & 'Idol' finale (Although you can bet there's some fans out there who'd trade Paula for her replacement.  Personally, I can't tell the difference.) | Heidi Montag & 'Transformers'  (The funny thing is, Optimus Prime would look more real than Heidi Montag any day of the week.)

- I made one of the RiffTrax guys laugh.  Bill Corbett actually retweeted my #LesserBooks entry on the entire Harry Potter series.  I'm now Crow Approved!

- Speaking of Twitter Trends, let's start a new one.  Your mission: log onto Twitter & help trend up #80'sFacts.  I'll start.  "80's Fact: If you couldn't dance, wear pastels, or didn't watch Nickelodeon...you were fucked as a kid." #80'sFacts

- Has anyone gotten sick of BP making excuses yet?  I think I could go for another week of halfhearted apologies mixed with feelings of regret and actually trying to look like they give a shit.

- 24 ends tonight, and Lost ended last night.  My guess at the ending of Lost: A polar bear sitting in a leather chair, whilst wearing a smoking jacket and holding a snifter of brandy, stands up and says to the survivors, "I bet you're all wondering why I brought you here.  Allow me to explain."  Cut to: LOST.  24 will reveal that the bear was Jack Bauer, and the island was his own personal playground where his God like powers are allowed to manifest themselves at full strength.  We then get two hours of Kate and Kim making out to the Benny Hill theme.  (Or a raging 80's sax solo.)

And to play us into this week, here's John Debney's awesome Iron Man 2 theme, "I Am Iron Man".  A question for all of you Soundtrack Geeks out there: does this or does this not sound like a Jerry Goldsmith tune?  Nothing against Debney, the score to IM2 blows the first film's score out of the water (and it's a fun listen) but I think it sounds like a rather cool throwback to Goldsmith circa Capricorn One meets Goldsmith circa Total Recall.

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