- Mike Reyes
- Mike Reyes, aka Mr. Controversy, has considered himself a writer ever since he was a child. He wrote for various school publications from about 1995 until 2006, and currently runs both The Bookish Kind and Mr. Controversy, which is an offshoot of the regular column he wrote in High School. He's also authored several short stories such as "The Devil's Comedian", "The Devil v. George W. Bush", and most recently "Wait Until Tomorrow". He resides in New Jersey. Any inquiries for reprinting, writing services, or general contact, should be forwarded to: firstname.lastname@example.org
The Mr. Controversy Fan Club
Friday, April 30, 2010
Monday, April 26, 2010
Wow. What a difference a year most certainly makes. The last highlight reel had me upset and sad over someone I'd lost, while maintaining respect for said party. That respect flew out the window thanks to some dramatics, and things just continued to get uglier and uglier.
On top of that, one of my best friends received the same treatment from his wife, and now another friend is going through the Sarah Marshall Chronicles. Yet, this post finds our world in a happier, much better place. Wounds have healed, and things are looking up. 2010, so far, is kicking 2009's unholy ass by bringing out the best it can. To paraphrase The Who, I've got to think that Twenty-Ten is gonna be a good year.
I admit, the quantity of output for parts of last year up until now have not been so kind to you, the reader. However, I'd like to the the quality is still there, and as such here's the best of the last year. For two years, Mr. Controversy has been up and running, and I thank all that have been reading it. Be you a hater or a booster, a buddy or a bitch, friend or foe, cheerleader or a certain four letter word we all know and love (I'm being nice today, so you can just suck it.), I thank you all for making this destination something to talk about. Year 2 is in the can, and today we mark the start of Year 3. Action, kiddies.
- Getting Sarah Marshall’d
- Palin’s Folly
- The Last Temptation of James Cameron, Part I
- The Last Temptation of James Cameron, Part III
- A Note To Anonymous Posters...
- Chartreuse, or “Please Support My Vague Message in the Name of Change!"
- Jersey Whores, or “Where’s Jordan McDeere When You Need Her?”
- Shutter Island - The G Rated Version
- Vamp-O-Rama: 1/5 - "The Strain" by Guillermo Del Toro and Chuck Hogan
Sunday, April 25, 2010
Good Monday Morning, kiddies! The weekend's passed through our lives like that good friend that happens to stop by once a week to get us arrested and drunk. (Possibly in that order too.) Now Monday stands over us with its ruler in hand, glasses firmly wedged on the bridge of its nose, and a firm glare in its eyes. Let's take our seats and start the battle that is the week.
- I have some new hate mail on the Kei$ha piece I did for Musical Anatomy a couple weeks ago. I think it's the most hate mail I've received since the Bra Color Fiasco. High marks for all.
- Of course Oprah debuted the Eclipse trailer. If you're going to peddle melodramatic relationships with pedophiles and half baked romance, she's your main man.
- How to Train Your Dragon looks like it's had yet another successful weekend at the box office, this time possibly keeping the #1 crown! Unfortunately, The Back Up Plan's promises of candy in the back of a van worked for female movie goers. Sorry guys, you'll probably have to see it this weekend if you haven't already. That said, here are this week's Futile Box Office Predictions:
1. A Nightmare on Elm Street
(Yes, I am against this film; but at the same time I want Jackie Earle Haley to succeed so much. The man's really done himself a solid in his career, and I want nothing more than for him to be another Robert Downey Jr. But still...this looks like another unnessicary horror remake produced by Michael Bay, and we all know how well THOSE turn out.)
2. How to Train Your Dragon
(It's lasted this long, and with one more week in IMAX it'll possibly draw some serious figures in this weekend.)
3. Furry Vengance
(Because deep down, we all want the "little SOB's" to pipe down. Also, Brendan Fraser is on a rocket sled to hell, and Summit Entertainment couldn't produce a decent hit worthy of its success for the life of themselves.)
Lovable Loser of the Week: Harry Brown, for not securing a wider release. The world needs more Michael Caine asskickings. Get on it, Hollywood!
Loathable Winner of the Week: The Back Up Plan, for once more removing a piece of my faith that an iota of taste inhabits that of the average female movie-goer. (To the women that choose more complex fare...you're awesome.)
- Stephen Colbert is awesome. I'm not getting paid to say that, but if I was I'd say it even louder, on TV, with dancing women holding up his visage. Just to get the point across.
- I'm going to put together a rock band that plays at BeerFests during the summer. We're going to be called Brewtiful Dreamer and we're going to rock.
- Speaking of rock: Can one really see a million faces and rock them all? I guess it would depend on the strength of your rockitude, plus the air conditions/shape of the venue and plenty of other variables. Looking at it scientifically, it's hard to believe Bon Jovi could do such a thing, but maybe hairspray amplifies rockitude. I don't know for sure, but I've commissioned studies to find out.
- Follow @NoelClarke on Twitter. He's not the Tin Dog anymore, and he's quite fun to talk to. (Tell him @MrControversy83 sent you.)
- Unfortunate MSN Popular Search Topic Pairings of the Day:
Boy was this Monday a good one for unfortunate pairings:
Alicia Silverstone & pregnancy New 'Kate Plus 8' - As if she's really planning to take over the unfillable bitch heels of Ms. Gosslin.
Pills & brain power Jon Gosselin & child support - If Jon Gosselin has brain power, he'd have put his wife on the pill and avoided the eventual child support he'd have to pay out. (Ha ha...creativity.)
Kristen Stewart 'Wanted'? Britney Spears on 'Glee'? - What are "Things That Should Never Be Mixed", Alex?
- By the way, that Eclipse trailer was laughably bad. The "action" looks about as violent as a pillow fight. Can't wait for the Rifftrax guys to get their hands on the film.
- YouTube seems to be spawning more and more ridiculously unentertaining Internet Celebrities. I'd say kill it with fire, but how else am I going to listen to unreleased cues from Doctor Who?
-Also, Steven Moffat continues to kill it with Doctor Who this season. Just caught up with The Beast Below last night & it's a hell of an episode. I don't see why everyone's complained?! Next up: The Mark Gatiss penned "Victory of the Daleks" and Steven Moffat's "Awesome Fan Service Palooza" first of two parter "The Time of Angels". Oh River...we missed you so much.
And here to play us into the week is noneother than the amazing Squirrel Nut Zippers, whom I hope show up to Jersey one day in the future. (Hint hint, guys. You'd be perfect at The Basie.)
Friday, April 23, 2010
First off, we got to finally see How to Train Your Dragon in IMAX 3D yesterday. My impression? The film was amazing, and they got away with a Disney story taking some very un-Disney like turns. Sanders and DeBlois belong at Dreamworks Animation where not only is their vision needed, it's truly appreciated. Between this and Kung Fu Panda, I have faith in Dreamworks Animation again. So with that, I give you a video from the stars pimping out the film in its IMAX format. (Yes, this is more corporate shilling; but it's shilling in hopes of winning a limited edition Lithograph from the film. So if you're not partial to my shilling, just skip this video.)
Next, the three of us went to lunch at Les Halles, better known as the restaurant that Anthony Bourdain put on the map. Naturally this lead to the consumption of exotic foods and purchasing of an autographed copy of The Nasty Bits. Perhaps the most surprisingly awesome course though was the starter of Foie Gras. I'd never had it before, but Chris swears by it; so I figured I'd give it a shot. It's so scrumptious, it's sinful. One bite and I was euphoric. I hated Chicken Liver as a kid, but the difference between this and Chicken Liver is like the difference between canned tuna and sushi. Here's Bourdain himself extolling the virtues (and debunking the myths of) Foie Gras.
The last video is from last night's episode of The Colbert Report. If you ever get the chance to see Stephen Colbert live, DO IT. He's funny, he's personable, and he loves his audience. (I actually got him to call me a bigger nerd than he and he returned the Vulcan salute when I gave it to him.) Plus, watching him screw up is hysterical and listening to him swear is a lot of fun when you're sitting in the studio audience. (They should call it Colbert Unbleeped.) I am proud to say that we were there for the first "Bonus The Word", as well as the television debut of Steve Colbert (pronounced "col-bert"), and not one but THREE performances of The Gorillaz single "Stylo". Here's the video of the performance they ended up using. (Two were awesome, but one was incomplete so it can't really be ranked.)
|The Colbert Report||Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c|
|Gorillaz - Stylo|
Monday, April 19, 2010
After a day of Tweeting and Doctor Who, I went to sleep feeling that Sundays were given a bad rap during my childhood. Even waking up this morning, Monday didn't seem too painful itself. So today's GAAAH might be a more understated one. (Who am I kidding? I'll find something to comedically bitch about.)
- My girlfriend is no longer a vegitarian, but she still doesn't approve of Animal Cruelty. (And really, who does besides sick bastards and serial killers?) Therefore, I've created a new advocacy group I think we can all support. Meatlovers and vegitarians alike can stand together in a show of human solidarity when they become a part of People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, specifically For Ingestion, Lovability, and Entertainment, or P.E.T.A.F.I.L.E. for short.
- WTF-AWESOME SAUCE-BBQ?! Kick Ass did indeed kick ass, but How to Train Your Dragon pulled a Polar Express and climbed to number 1 weeks after it had entered the charts! I'm shocked, but in the best way possible. Two really good movies managed to keep the top spots away from crappy 3D upconversions and pop stars who sound like chain smokers. Just wow. Here's this week's Futile Box Office Predictions:
1. How to Train Your Dragon
(Because one could hope that such awesome will stay on top, where it belongs.)
2. Kick Ass
(Word of mouth might keep this puppy where it belongs.)
3. The Losers
(Because while it looks good, it feels like it's going to be a hard sell with a PG13 rating.)
Lovable Loser of the Week: Oceans, because Disney seems to mean well with these environmental pictures; yet they don't seem to set the Box Office on fire. (And that Jonas/Lovato duet is really in bad taste. We're supposed to be stopping ecological disasters, not creating them, Disney.)
Loathable Loser of the Week: The Backup Plan, for being a CBS Film that once again looks like it was made for TV and yet again reinforces only the worst romantic comedy stereotypes that Hollywood has to offer. It's a shame Jennifer Lopez only really made one film in her career and then let this J.Lo character take over. She showed a lot of potential in Out of Sight.
- I'm going to New York this week, on Earth Day of all days. Anybody know of any awesome activities that'll be going on?
- Anyone else looking forward to Iron Man 2?
- I urge all video game fans and orchestral music fans to go buy/download/listen to the album Distant Worlds. It contains the most beautiful renditions of Final Fantasy music you will ever hear, particularly the Opera of Maria and Draco.
- Ripped from the headlines: "An NYPD commander who apparently digs the "Twilight" saga is accused of sexually harassing a detective with unwanted massages and texts". The funny part about this story? He's actually emulating the behavior of Jacob quite well, minus the pedostalking. I'd look into that if I were you, NYPD.
- Roger Ebert hated Kick Ass, partially because of the whole Hit Girl aspect of the film, which he found "morally reprehensible". While I respect the man and his opinion, I have to politely disagree with his criticism. Why? Because there are plenty of films where children fight back against (and sometimes kill) the bad guys, some even animated. (Have we forgotten The Incredibles, Home Alone, and countless other films that use the trope of children in danger kicking ass?) I just find it a little hypocritical that The Incredibles gets 3.5 stars (as it deserves) while Kick Ass gets 1.5 stars (when it deserves about a 3). C'mon, Elastigirl's speech to her children on preserving their identities basically addressed this issue: kid or adult, if you're a superhero, the villains WILL try to kill you. Ebert gets a bad rap from some assuming he's "out of touch" but the man isn't out of touch with the times. (He has a Twitter, for God's sake!) He just has his opinion, and while I disagree with it I defend that point. Roger Ebert didn't like Kick Ass, but he enjoyed the remake to Death at a Funeral. Deal with it, America. (ESPECIALLY Harry Knowles.)
- Unfortunate MSN Headline Pairing of the Week: "Pacino as Kevorkian Nicolas Cage buys tomb". BONUS Entry for a Single Headline: "Who Looked Hot on Country's Carpet?"
- If you're on Twitter, chat with @MurrayGold. Yes THAT Murray Gold. He's quite a fun fellow to talk to.
- Good Morning America had a report on 3D TVs today, stating that they require a lot of health advisories in order for you to operate one safely. One of the recommended precautions is that you shouldn't watch 3D TV while drinking. Do you hear that? That's the only chance of Beerfest ever going to 3D BluRay going out the window?! Thanks a lot, idiots!
To start this week off, I've selected "The Fantastic Mr. Fox (Petey's Song)" by Jarvis Cocker; if anything so that people will take notice and see this film (or see it again). This year's Oscar race for Best Animated Picture was a crowded field of awesome, and if Up didn't win it, then this certainly would have. Also, Mondays require easing into, and what better to set you at ease than the smooth tones of a banjo.
Friday, April 16, 2010
Monday, April 12, 2010
- Go see How to Train Your Dragon in IMAX 3D. Yes, that was a little bit of ad shilling, but it's ad shilling that I can get behind. Seriously, the Lilo and Stitch guys are behind this one, and it'd be sticking it to the Disney folks if we made this one a success. Besides, IMAX is the best way to see a movie, seeing as it kicks the shit out of even the best home theater system.
- We don't have any American Folk Tales anymore, do we? The closest I've ever seen in our modern age is the Jack Daniels ads. Get on that, America. Folk tales are fun, and when's the last time you've heard a story with just that little dash of heroism and pride that wasn't built in there already.
- I actually got last weekend's Futile Box Office Predictions right! Huzzah broken clock syndrome! Anyway, here's this weekend's FBOP's:
1. Kick Ass
(Because it will syphon off a good portion of the audience that'll want to see Clash of the Titans...)
2. Clash of the Titans
(...but it'll leave enough of them that can't get in without ID.)
3. Date Night
(Because there will be just enough buzz to get couples to see it this weekend, when they missed it last weekend and/or parents who had to train a dragon last weekend will finally get their own date night.)
Lovable Loser of the Week: Date Night, for being muscled around by an inferior 3D picture, and being manhandled by Shaun Levy's "directing".
- I've decided to ease up on the Sparkletard throttle for a little. After all, I've gotta save some rage for when Eclipse rears its ugly head full force.
- Redbox needs a guideline of ettiquette for their machines. And I'll be happy to write it for them myself. Look for "The Redbox Guide to Rental Etiquette" soon.
- How could we have closed so many Comic Shops and Arcades? Do people not like fun anymore? Last time I checked, that wasn't the case.
- More movie studios are delaying their films for Online/Kiosk Rental, most recently Fox and Universal. Congratulations on shooting yourselves in the foot, because Brick and Mortar stores are already stooping to desperate lengths to stay in business (I'm looking at you Blockbuster. WTF on the late fee revival?) and most people can wait for new releases anyway. You limit our options, we're just going to go give our business to someone who doesn't dick us around. There's always a plan B.
And finally, this has to be one of the easiest Opening Acts for the Week I've ever had to select. I showed my girlfriend Up in the Air this weekend, and was reminded out of how beautiful and poignant the film is. I consider it the best picture of 2009's Oscar line up, which puts Jason Reitman at a 2-1 score. (Juno sucked, admit it.) If you haven't seen it, I highly implore you to do so, mostly because of George Clooney's performance in the film. The man breaks your heart as easily as he'll make you laugh. Another reason to see it is because of the ecclectic, yet fitting soundtrack. One of the best sequences in the whole film, musically and thematically, is the wedding sequence towards the end.
Friday, April 9, 2010
Monday, April 5, 2010
- What is it with rap songs and soccer analogies lately? I mean I understand the whole "kick it" thing could lead to it, but honestly if soccer is the first sport you can analogize with sex then maybe you're doing it wrong. (For the record, I analogize sex with hockey. You yank your shirts off the same way, it can get quite rough and angry if you let it, and there's a penalty for high sticking.)
- Clash of the Titans kicked loads of ass at the theaters this weekend, which is surprising considering the advance press for the rush job on their 3D conversion. More surprising is Gopher Cunt McSnaggletooth's collaboration with Nicholas Sparks managed a second place finish. For the record, if I could train a dragon, its first objective would be to roast and crunch Miley and her "loving" father. Dragons get hungry too, kids. Here's this weekend's Futile Box Office Predictions.
1. Clash of the Titans
(Because fail loves an audience.)
2. Date Night
(Also known as the NBC crossover episode Fox made into a movie.)
3. How to Train Your Dragon
(Kids aren't going to let this die without a fight.)
Lovable Loser of the Week: How To Train Your Dragon for getting pushed around by the non-threatening, non talented dick spurt of Billy Ray Cyrus.
- The Republican Party is calling for Michael Steele's head on a silver platter. Anybody else think this is his best chance to get out of trouble by doing the Humpty Hump? This just helps reenforce the belief that there's going to be Tea Party candidates all over the nation this fall. If the Dems are smart, they won't fuck this up like they did Massachusetts. (I cast my vote for Huckabee to be party chairman, should Steele be removed. He's a nice guy, a good sport, and seems to be genuinely down to Earth. If the Republicans want to really challenge Washington leadership, they should be taking the "kill them with kindness" route. Just strategizing, is all.)
- 24 has its mid-season two hour event tonight. SPOILERS: Chloe O'Brien and Renee Walker better leave this season unscathed, and if President Logan double-crosses the nation again, Jack should stake him through the heart with an American Flag. THERE'S your series finale!
- Good Morning America had a feature this morning touting maternal advice from Dancing with the Stars contestants Niecy Nash, Pamela Anderson, and Kate Gosselin. Right...like I'd want mothering advice from a cop from Reno 911 turned Celebrity Gossip/Reality show maven , a Playmate who thought it was a good idea to marry a rock star from Motley Crue, and a shrillish harpie cunt who's only used her kids for notoriety and fame. That's like me asking Stephenie Meyer for relationship advice. (Though I wonder, did they think of having Nadya Suleman moderate the discussion.)
- Was Clash of the Titans really THAT bad?
- Unfortunate MSN headline pairing of the week: "Carla Bruni cut from Woody Allen film Head found"
- Heidi Montag says she was tricked into saying she was going to divorce her Tool Academy ready husband in a promo for The Hills. Right, because that's such a horrific and difficult feat to accomplish.
- Baseball season has started. That's it. No euphoria, no detriment; I know it's here and I don't need fifty thousand Facebook statuses proclaiming it to be the next messiah. It just is. (That said, shame the Yanks were spanked by the Sox last night. Hope the Mets can actually pull it together and manage to actually win a championship this year. Good luck on the Citi Field opener, boys!)
- Christopher Nolan is a Filmmaking God. How The Dark Knight went empty handed at the Oscars is beyond me.
And now, to play us into the week, Mr. Hugh Laurie introduced by Mr. Stephen Fry!
Friday, April 2, 2010
- Happy Friday Video - 4/30/10
- The Mr. Controversy 2nd Anniversary Highlight Reel...
- The Monday GAAAH! (4/26/10)
- Happy Friday Video - 4/23/10
- The Monday GAAAH! (4/19/10)
- Happy Friday Video - 4/16/10
- The Monday GAAAH! (4/12/10)
- Happy Friday Video - 4/9/10
- The Monday GAAAH! (4/5/10)
- Happy Friday Video - 4/2/10
- ▼ April (10)
- ► 2009 (187)