The Monday GAAAH! - 9/24/12

 

So...excuses for my absence this time: none.  Honestly, I think I got fatigued.  A lot of stuff has happened in my life.  Some good, some bad, some a  mix of both, but all busying.  That post last Friday was a wake up call, and it felt good to be writing again.  I hope it lasts this time, as I've already taken way more leave from this gig than I had ever intended.  Onwards...

-          Are we allowed to say The Avengers was the best movie of the Summer?  It totally was.  I mean, A #1 Second Prize with a Blue Ribbon goes to The Dark Knight Rises, but we know where the bread is buttered people.

-          The Full House reunion was this weekend, with only the Olsen Twins being absent from the festivities.  Oh the jokes Bob Saget must have told in their absence.

-          Headline from MSN’s “WonderWall”: “Case Closed: Fred Willard has completed a Sex Education Course.”  One would think that if anyone wouldn’t need  a Sex Ed course, it’d be Fred Willard.  C’mon, he was in a Porno theater!  He was already getting a lesson in his seat!  Still, it pleases me to know that Mr. Willard now knows where babies come from.  That’s the first innocence to be lost, Sir.  Be wary!

-          While we’re still on the subject, wouldn’t it be funny if we got Fred Willard to narrate a sex ed film for High Schoolers.  It might help raise awareness, and laughs.  Just saying.

-          Cee Lo Green has a Christmas Album coming out at the end of October, with a special to accompany.  Honestly, that sounds like the best Christmas album since Michael Buble’s album last year.  (This also inspires me to create a new hashtag for the holidays:  Start tweeting #CeeLoForSanta, kids!)

-          This Week’s Addition to the Lexicon: “Ass Sandwich” – A really shitty situation.  Something that just sucks to no end.  “You lost to Jimmy Fallon at the Emmys?  Boy, talk about an ass sandwich.”

-          Ben and Kate…looks like it’s only a week from cancellation.

-          If people saw my “Recently Viewed” lineup from IMDB, I’d dare them to make a film incorporating all of the entries.  (It would also probably be the best film in seven known universes.)

-          End of Watch (which I always come perilously close to calling ‘End of Line’) debuted at #1 this past weekend.  With that in mind, here are this weekend’s Futile Box Office Predictions:

o   1.) Looper (I’m being optimistic, but I think it’s been brand saturated enough that Joseph Gordon Levitt’s mug equals box office gold.)

o   2.) Hotel Transylvania (Kids…what do you expect?)

o   3.) Pitch Perfect (It sounded stupid, but then I saw the trailer and fell in love.  It’s only a limited release this weekend, but I think it’ll build a lot of buzz.  This has sleeper hit written all over it.)

Loveable Loser of the Week: Dredd 3D, because it was beaten by a dying franchise, a 3D re-release, an attempt to make Clint Eastwood happen again, an obvious cash in, and an awesome looking indie hit.  (Open Road Films isn’t a major studio, so End of Watch can be considered an “indie hit”.)

Loathable Winner of the Week: Trouble with the Curve, because studios and politicians alike think that if Clint Eastwood simply acts like a grizzled old man on the screen, it’ll rake in the dough.  You need the heart behind the grizzle.  Just ask Eastwood himself…he perfected it in Gran Turino.

This week's Opening Act highlights the gaffes, flubs, and shut outs of one Willard Mitt Romney. The video speaks for itself, just as Governor Romney does.  Presented without comment...